The art of depression
For many years now (from the age of 18 onwards) I have suffered from depression. Unknown to me it was hormonally based and when my seratonin levels gets to low in my body my brain just collapsed. It can get quite serious. One time I spent three days trying to get back into my brain as I was suspended to the right rear of my head, whilst my body walked around for that time organising my affairs in preparation to killing itself. Another time I went to bed on a thursday and awoke the next tuesday and the only thing I remembered was getting up once to go to the toilet! Five days lost! About 9 years ago a doctor prescribed me citalopram which cured the depressions!
I noticed that during the 30 odd years of depression it was never really me who suffered. I was somehow detached, sent away from my brain during the depressions. When the depression was over my friends would say, “Oh, you’re back!” like saying “hello” to someone who had been away on a cruise ship! Lol!
Depression has nothing to do with happiness and sadness for me, but people who don’t know abount it think it is a thinking/happiness problem – BUZZZ, NO! To express this false belief I painted a picture (below) many years ago. Notice how the clown behind the mask is happy – i’ve always been happy! The sad mask is simply an illusion, blue because it is not alive – and it never manages to kill me! And what doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger! Lol!
I wouldn’t wish depression on anyone else, but I don’t regret having it myself as it has helped to shape my life as I worked my way around it. Sickness has nothing to do with internal happiness and one can be Healthy whilst being ill. How is that possible? Because sickness is only in the body and the brain, but Health is in the Soul! Extreme cases would be Steven Hawkins today, or Helen Keller and John Merrick (the elephant man) in the past. All of these people have overcome their sicknesses to lead full and useful lifes. So always aim to be Healthy (notice the capital H – it is a Spiritual state) and deal with your sickness the best way you can. I know it took me a long time to “cure” my depression, but I have always been “Healthy”!
Mull on this if you have an unwell body and/or brain. Your Soul is above your body and we are only here for a short time. If you are 20 today it will take another 42 years to reach my age, But when you are 62 you will turn around and wonder how those 42 years disapeared in just three weeks! Lol!
Life IS short, enjoy each day to the maximum of your capacity. Look at the clouds and see the Glory of the world! Listen to the rain and be grateful that it does rain and sustain all our lives! And when you are occasionally feeling well, enjoy it to the maximum and say, “This is the true (the Spiritual) Me!”! And amongst all this try to achieve your purpose in life – to help create a divine civilisation! Even the very, very sick are helping to do this by providing meaningful soul service to others who look after you!
Health, Happiness, Peace, Success and Prosperity be upon you!