Because I started my lifes journey in Art in the photographic field I ended up doing wedding photography. From attending a wedding every week for several years I started to notice things. Many odf the people getting married were not really fully committing to the relationship – they were basically getting married with their bags already packed! In the end going to these weddings put me off wedding photography so badly I dropped out of that job permanently!
Once in a while you’d get a really good marriage starting up but we were lucky if they were 1 in 5! 3 in 5 were okay to various degrees and I wished them luck. But 1 in 5 were pointless – there was no reason for them to get married because one or both of them already had their bags packed.
The marriage ceremony is about commitment, about two people committing to each other for life. But more often than not it’s about ceremony, rather than commitment. Let me say this bluntly. If the commitment isn’t whole and double-sided then the marriage is doomed to a life expectancy of 5, or less, years. Physical attraction can hold people together for up to five years, but if the wholistic commitment isn’t made within that time then “POOF!!” up it goes in smoke!
Any of us can be fooled. Just over 4 years ago I married a lady who wanted a big wedding ceremony, but didn’t want to be married to me! I was very loyal and kept the marriage going for 3 and half years until i was exhausted from the effort! We went to marriage guidance after only three months of marriage and she sat there saying, “He just wants to be married to me!” as if there was something wrong with that. Duh, of course I did, I was in love with her, but apparently she wasn’t with me and not committed either. If she had known herself better she could have been honest with me and I would have gone through the ceremony for her, but not signed the legal papers! It would have been much easier on me, I can tell you.
In the Bible is says , “to the level of your belief it shall be given to you.” If you replace the word faith with commitment it is still 100% true! Faith and commitment are very closely related – like the Brown kiwi and the grey kiwi – variations of the same species!
So I say to you you, commit, commit, commit! Be slow to commit and even slower to break that commitment. But when the commitment is supposed to be two sided and only one side is working, don’t be afraid to break it because commitments on the spiritual level are actually called synergies, and marriage is designed to be a synergy. The formula for a synergy is 1+1=3 because the sum of the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. Synergies can only be formed between whole people. But if we make a synergy with a non-whole person it no longer adds up but multiplies instead. So if we have a whole person that totals 1 plus a non-whole person (which we will call half/.5) the multiplying the two together always totals less than 1 – 1x.5=.5 !! If you think about it in another way, the negative person always drains the positive person acting like a lightening rod to drain the energy away and not keeping any of the energy for itself!
So how does one become whole? By uniting body, brain and soul into one by commons goals and synergising the three to work together. The Bible talks about a “House divided can never win” If we translate that from the double negative (divided/never) into a single positive then it reads “A house united (synergised/united) will always win!” A house united is an internal synergy. A marriage is an external synergy that needs two synergised people to make it work. A synergy made between a synergised person and a non-synergised on is always going to fail because the energy levels of the “synergy” is always going to be below one. Nothing under one ever works (except on paper!)
A non-working synergy is quite easily broken by the synergised partner. It cannot be kept going by the non-synergised partner. It only requires a few words from the synergised partner mouth to “disband” the synergy and make him/herself whole again.
And that is where the damage comes from in an incorrect synergy. By taking on a non-synergised partner (be it personal or business) you are effectively making yourself non-whole again, separated, dis-united. By getting rid of the non-whole portion of your life (the non-whole partner) you effectively go back to being whole within yourself again and the power starts to flow again! Ah, Happy days!