Over the past 36 hours I have been suffering from the black dog of depression. My depression is caused by hormonal instabilities where my seratonin levels drop and I can just feel my world collapsing! Luckily I have medication that works most of the time and I only get a couple a year, when I take extra tablets, which usually fixes things. Then there are times where no rhyme of reason seems to take place and the medicine just doesn’t seem to work and I just have to crawl to bed and wait for it to pass.
What a miserable place depression is! Everything is grey to black, nothing is funny, there seems to be no reason to live, there is no laughter anymore (remember i like to laugh 3 hours a day!). And time passes so slowly the only escape is sleep.
And when it’s gone my appetite is back, I feel alive and exhilarated (“nothing so exhilarates a man as being shot at and missed!” Winston Churchill), I remember all the good things I have and my mission for the world.
How can you help me? Say a prayer that Love and Light may fill me and lift me from the dark dispair of depression. I know it’s not me that is occupying my mind because I can see into my mind from the outside! If I am on the outside, who has taken over my brain?!!
Kindest regards, j’iam